The new Census data came out the other day and it’s official: The White Devil is finally on the decline. In 20 years, People of No Color — I call us PONCs — will be a minority of the U.S. population.
Mazel tov, POCs! Of course, you’ll be claiming majority status in a time of floods, fires, resurgent pestilence and Republicans. Coincidence? Please. We’re the Devil! We know what we’re doing.
Now, if I could have a private word with my PONC fellow PONCs: We’ve got about 20 years to make amends for 400 years of abominable behavior or they’re gonna ship us all back to Transylvania where we came from. Unless you really like ghoulash and human blood, we had best shake a leg PDQ.
Now, as to my POC brothers, sisters and whathaveyous, let me say this about those 400 years of abuse: I had nothing to do with it! By the way, are you working out? Because you look great! And I love that shirt on you!